the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
