New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Randomize
