I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i dont even know how to be here
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
