White coat. Heels.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
