can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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