so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
