Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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