i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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