Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
