worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
