he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
