She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
