did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
