i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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