Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
