U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
