Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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