Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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