did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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