This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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