I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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