so explain again why im purple
no
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
