I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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