my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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