I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
