i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
