Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
