I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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