u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Panties = found
Randomize
