She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Do you still have your period?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
