i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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