I CAN MOONWALK!
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Watching her eat just hurts me
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
