as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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