My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
