I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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