You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
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I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
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how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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