Christians are straight up FREAKS
I want to have your abortion
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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