She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
