thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
