i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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