Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
