is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
