just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
