I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
