if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
