I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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