Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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