I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching her eat just hurts me
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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