If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
