Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
