apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
