But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize