So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
