i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
