I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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