It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
