I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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