I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Randomize