Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He shit in the fireplace
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
