the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
