you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
