belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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