I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
