I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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