she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
