i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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