i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
