I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...