We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
birth control should be required to get into college
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
