he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize