i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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